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You mastered this powerful word many years ago. In fact, every two year old makes a career out of saying this: NO!

You would think with our busy jammed pack days, wed easily go back to reviving the skill of saying no. Saying No gives you control and eliminates other people enacting their agenda on you. It creates an invisible boundary around you so you can stay on track.

Using a system of positive and negative rewards, the two year old learns saying yes is far better than saying no. No often created unpleasant experience and children learn agreeing and people pleasing will make their life much easier.

Manipulative people are masters at this. They realize you are more comfortable with saying yes and capitalize on it.

No does not mean you don’t like the person or equals rejection. No is a credible and laudable response. When you say NO it simply means the current request doesn’t work for you right now.

When you say, “Yes,” when you want to say, “No” you will feel resentful throughout whatever you agreed to do. This causes stress that can show in many ways, lost energy, discomfort, headaches, shoulder tension and restless sleep. You could avoid these symptoms saying “No” in the first place. Life creates enough stress. Why add more?

5 Easy Ways to Say No

1. Let The Word No Start Your Sentences

You’ll find it easier to follow through and refuse the task, if you utter the word no in the beginning of your sentence,

No I’m sorry, my plate is full right now and I wouldn’t do a good job for you.

No, I’m not available (no need for details)

2. Think It Over

Maybe the request is something you want or need to do but you need time to make sure it will fit your schedule. Perhaps you’re not strong enough to say no right now. Ask for time to think it over. That way you can have time to mentally prepare yourself to say No. Remember, the decision is totally yours.

3. Just Saying No

Go ahead and say it. NO.” You are not obligated to give any further explanation. Add “No, thank you,” if it fits the situation.

We are so conditioned to give out information without thinking. You do not need to give the cashier or clerk your phone number or email address at checkout point. You can say NO

When a telemarketer disturbs your dinner, say no. Or better yet, let the phone ring unanswered.

Twenty years ago in the war on Drugs, you say Just Say No To Drugs all over the place, schools, billboard, commercials, subways, everyplace. Start your own No campaign. Using bright colored paper, you can print your own signs and put them up where you will see and read them.

4. Play the Blame Game

We love to blame other people for our problems so why not blame saying “No” on somebody else…

No, my doctor said I need to cut back on my workload. (use this to preserve your personal time).

No, my accountant said if I did that one more time (great for unreasonable customer demands)

Warning: don’t use actual names, unless you really are quoting somebody. Your blame person must remain anonymous

5. Act like a Parrot

This technique works well when a manipulator puts you on a guilt trip or tries to wear down your resolve.

Example: A Request to go for a cup of coffee

“No, I can’t have coffee with you”

“We won’t be gone long”

“No, I can’t have coffee with you”

You deserve it. Look how many hours you worked already

“No, I can’t have coffee with you”

My Treat

“No, I can’t have coffee with you”

Learning to say “No” naturally takes practice. Start with saying “No” to something everyday.